Posted in A Reflection on Euphoria

Days 6 and 7

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Photo by Anna Dziubinska on Unsplash

 

Day 6…

This wasn’t a bad day, really. We got out, went to Hobby Lobby and my husband bought the mixing bowls I wanted for Christmas, but didn’t get, and even got a set for my mom. I held off a seizure the whole time I was in the store and let it go in the car. It was a rough one, but not the worst by far! I went to bed earlier, hoping that the earlier bedtime would head off the now-regular midnight round of seizures. I laid there for two hours unable to sleep until my husband came to bed. Then I had a seizure and went to sleep.

I had a pretty good day CRAFT-wise, as well!

Create- stitch a day, daily doodle, and crocheting on the scarf I’m knitting as a gift all went well.

Read- I read a chapter of The Undead Pool, realizing this IS the book I started but didn’t finish because my tablet died and took it along with it. I still have one more after this one, so I need to get this one finished so I can mourn the loss of another great series of books.

Activity- Shopping at Hobby Lobby, Home Depot

Focus- SURVIVE- day 5 was a bad one for seizures.

Treat Yourself- We watched the latest Pirates of the Carribean movie! ❤

Day 7—

We got up at a decent time, but after asking my husband to cook breakfast… *sighs* it ended with me cooking breakfast, just like I always do. He said I made to big a deal out of it, I say I’m really tired of it falling on my shoulders all the time. He blew me off. We moved on. After a nap that I didn’t really want to take (The cat wasn’t having me NOT taking it- sketched him as my daily doodle, so he got his!), we got dressed and went to the mall for some lunch at the food court and shopping for pants for my husband and Peanut. I wore heels, which turned out to be a BIG mistake, since my feet were killing me within an hour. I then had to listen to “I told you so” and laughing even though every step I took was agony. We found Peanut pants that fit her and a few other things at a store having a great sale, so we got them, there. Peanut got stuck on a pair of shoes at Old Navy, but we told her to hold off because she might find something she liked better somewhere else and that store was on our way back out, so we’d stop and get them if she didn’t find something else. We went into JC Penny’s, where my husband got his pants for work and the girls found some Christmas-ish shirts for PJ wear that were only $2. My husband also got stuff to replace his insoles for his shoes and some new strings. I found these amazing boots, but they were WAY more expensive than I wanted to spend on boots, so I left them there. We let the girls play for a bit while my husband was checking out at Penny’s and I got a few more rows on the scarf done. My feet were SCREAMING by then and I was starting to overheat, one of the signs of an impending attack. Yay? He caught up to us and then, within the girls’ hearing, said “Let’s go to Golden Corral,” which happens to be one of the girls’ favorite places to go (I think it’s the chocolate fountain). It would mean more walking, though. I held the attack off until I was in the car and then let it go. It was the frustrating kind that was more internal than external and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Golden Corral is a buffet, which means walking when my feet were in so much pain, already. I was the only person who didn’t get a single thing at the mall. We never made it to the other shoe store because he was DONE by then and ready to eat. I told him in the car why I didn’t want to go to Golden Corral for dinner, but it was too late to go back on it, after telling the girls we were going. I curled my hands into fists and walked the best I could to the buffet to keep the scream of pain inside as I got food. Then I started trying to figure out how much I needed for Troll to get rolling next weekend and when I asked him to fund it, he started the “we’re thin on money, Tiffany,” crap. We compromised down to printing things to handle the colors of the notebooks and clipboards. Then he looked at me and said, “You’re PMS’ing, aren’t you?” Does that tick off anyone but me? Since when does my hormonal imbalance give you the right to be an ass? You know what, I probably am hormonal right now. But that had nothing to do with my feet hurting! It had nothing to do with you spending plenty of money “providing for (your) family” by buying them clothes and completely leaving your wife out. “You should’ve said something” also ticks me off. It should be DEADLY obvious when everyone is getting shoes, and shirts, and bottoms (pants and leggies) and I’m getting NOTHING. I’m holding the bags, though, you bet that! He wanted me to hold his jacket and the bag from the shoe store, too! I could’ve slapped him right there in front of God and everyone.

*sighs*

My CRAFT didn’t get finished tonight, but I’ll make up for it tomorrow.

Create: Doodle of the Day (didn’t get to the stitch of the day), getting closer to finished with my scarf, I also printed forms and created the invoices for Troll next weekend

Read: I’m going to read another chapter of The Undead Pool, though I am really sleepy. I need to calm down and reading helps with that.

Activity: More shopping

Focus: I don’t think I had one, which was probably why this failed so badly.

Treat Yourself: I got three desserts at dinner. My stomach is rebelling against dinner, but… pecan pie, coconut cream pie, and a peanut butter crunch covered in chocolate at least soothed my need to punch something.

My take away here… I am in desperate need of me time. I am REALLY looking forward to going to BUNCO Tuesday and to the event this weekend. I need to do some mending and washing/ironing of garb before Thursday, too. The time to be me and not rely on someone else will feel good.

There’s always tomorrow,

~U4ea

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Teacher, Mother, Wife, Reeve, Fighter, Apprentice, Protege, Writer, Reader, Track Director... I do it all, people!

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