Posted in A Reflection on Euphoria

Day 1- 2018

I haven’t been writing because I haven’t felt very euphoric. I’ve developed PNES (the doctor’s think), a gigantic kidney stone, and the pain from carpal tunnel and tendinitis in my wrists is worse than ever. I lost my Uncle Lonnie a few weeks ago, too.  Since I can’t drive very far or for very long, my ability to keep my kids entertained this winter break has been abysmal. I try, and they’re kids, so they can handle some stuff on their own.

December always makes me start thinking about the year coming and, this year, I haven’t been able to focus on anything but the moment I was living in.  This leads to depression and anxiety, which I have already, and it’s a vicious little cycle.

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Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

So, as is the custom the world over, a new year brings new possibilities, new chances, and new ground to change things. Some things I’ve already changed, and they’re finally starting to work. I wrote out checklists for the girls, modified to fit their age and needs, and I print them every Monday. The checklist takes nothing for granted, outlines every little thing they need to do from changing clothes to putting those clothes in a hamper and brushing their teeth after they’ve cleaned off the table from eating their breakfast. They even earn a dollar for every checklist they finish every day (there are 3 checklists every day and they run 7 days a week). I don’t give them an allowance, I make them earn it. When they break rules (arguing with each other, forgetting to do something on their list that I have to do because it’s a daily chore, whatever…. they have to pay me for doing it. The standard rate is 25 cents.)

So, that’s working. Go me! It helps keep my house clean, too, because I’ve organized the house so that each room gets a “day” of cleaning. Once it’s clean, upkeep takes 15 minutes. We had a small get together last night and family over for the weekend, so guess what? My house is clean! WOOT! Now, the checklists move into upkeep. WOOT WOOT!

Now, it’s time to focus on me.

I will be finishing my 2018 bucket list this week. I think I’m going to shorten it to 50 things, because 100 was difficult. If I finish the 50, I’ll create another 50. No biggie.

One of the things on my list for this year is a daily reflection, so here it is.

We slept in really late this morning. I’m not sure how or why, but… yeah. So, we had brunch muffins, instead of breakfast muffins. I taught a class this morning at my Facebook Group “The Honorable Clover,” on setting SMART goals. Then, as much as I didn’t want it to happen, I crashed. I knew it was coming, I’ve been going for two days straight with things keeping me busy. I slept from about 1 PM to dinner time, when my husband woke me up. I helped cook dinner, so there’s that. I ate my collard greens and, yes, even black eyed peas, because superstition is something I’m just not fighting and I need all the help I can get.

My kidney’s are killing me. I still have two stones in there and maybe I’m dehydrated. I haven’t done a good job of tracking anything today, mostly because of the late morning and the crashing.

So, I’ve tried to make up for it tonight. I’ve done laundry and made sure my husband has clothes for work tomorrow.  I watched the last hour of the GA/OK game and am so proud of my DAWGS for getting to the National Championship! I set up the class I’m teaching tomorrow, so it’s ready for me to post tomorrow evening.

One other thing I’m going to be obsessive about is my CRAFT time that I created last year. It does help my stress level and I’m trying to manage that better, so… here’s how my CRAFT time has gone today:

Create- two classes, BUNCO events, started a Temari ball, gathered supplies for needle lace. As of this posting, I have not done my stitch-a-day, which is on my list of things to do every day. I plan on fixing that as soon as I hit the publish button here. I will also get some knitting in, since I’m working on a gift with a deadline attached to it!

Read/Reflect- I’m kind of blending this into two things. I haven’t read anything today, but I aim to do that before bed. This is my reflection, so I can check that box off.

Activity- aside from laundry, I think I’ve failed myself here a little today. Once the Christmas Tree is down, the treadmill is coming in, so I will fix that.

Focus- Today’s focus for me was “SET THE TONE” for the year. Get done what I needed to get done, rest when I needed to rest. Keep the house at a status quo, recover from last night, get stuff accomplished. While there is a lot I didn’t get in today, I think I’ve set the tone for this year pretty well today. It takes 21 days to make a habit, I consider today Day 1 of that.

Treat yourself- My Daddy bought me Queen Anne cordial cherries for Christmas, just like he’s done every year for as long as I can remember. So, while I was typing this, I ate a few.

 

All that’s left is a reflection of my mental state. The truth is, I don’t know what my mental state is in. I’m tired and on one hand, I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot today, but on the other, there’s still so much to do. I will spend some time tonight before bed going through that list of hanging things and see what I can do about organizing them into my days in in the coming weeks to get them settled. I’ll have to do that before bed or I just won’t be able to sleep. Yay, Anxiety.  I feel like I’m missing something, I guess is the biggest issue. Now, to figure out what that something is…

 

Until tomorrow,

~U4ea

 

 

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Teacher, Mother, Wife, Reeve, Fighter, Apprentice, Protege, Writer, Reader, Track Director... I do it all, people!

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