So, let’s get caught up, shall we?
Since I’ve been gone, I’ve been suffering from one heck of a depressive attack. You know, the kind where you decide you’re going to bully your way through it, get in the car to go on a trip you’d been planning for months and can’t get an hour up the road because you’re crying so hard you can’t see the lines, anymore? Yeah, that’s where I was two months ago. It hasn’t gotten much better until this last week and that’s made me realize something very important: I take too much on myself and believe that overload level to be an acceptable way to live because I’ve committed myself to things and people are depending on me.
Oddly enough, this would totally work if I didn’t have really big things that demand so much of me just by their very nature. You see, I have two beautiful children who need their mother more than the Kingdom of Meridies needs a Social Media Deputy (yeah, it was a demotion, but that’s neither here nor there). I have a husband who, though not horribly supportive of my insane habits and hobbies as I am of his, does expect me to do things like… I dunno, help cook dinner and wash clothes. Annoying, right? I have a job that expects me to be able to pay attention to the kids in my class and not have to answer insane questions on my phone from people who don’t work the same hours I do. See? These are kinda big things!
Now, I’m sure a lot of people are about to do what I’m about to do, so let me apologize up front. I’m going to use you mercilessly, you see. I don’t have a lot of people who read this, anyway, so it’s not like I’m really bothering anyone by writing it. If you are reading it, though, I want to be honest. I’m using this blog to keep myself in check. If I can’t write it in here and share it with the world, it doesn’t need to be said, right?
So, then, that brings us to my purpose for writing today. It’s that crazy time of year when everyone buys new calendars and starts planning for next year. It’s that time when people make resolutions and try to make themselves better people than the one they were last year. I read an article today that pointed out that the reason people are unhappy is because THEY decide to be unhappy. Crap happens, my friends, and you can either dwell on the crap or use it for fertilizer to make the good things grow to be beautiful things.
My goal is growth.
Personal growth, absolutely. I was accepted to start working on my Master’s degree, though I’m not really sure how I’m going to pay for it. I’ve become obsessed with Growth Mindset and how to develop it in students (and myself). I’m far from the woman I want to be remembered as, and I’m not getting any younger. Dr. Franklin is coming, kids!
Growth in my children, that’s a no brainer. Not just getting bigger physically, that’s going to happen whether I want it to or not. I want them to be good people that others look forward to being around. While that comes easier for one child than the other, I need to help them both find their way to letting their true selves out and help them flourish in this crazy world we live in.
Growth in my relationships- all of them. I’m a glutton for a good relationship and I vow to grease those bad boys and make them amazing. My family, my friends, my husband… the people who fill your life are the things that make them worth living and I want to grow into the person they deserve me to be.
Growth in my profession-in our ever-changing world, it’s the kids that need the most help. They’re the ones who hold our future in their hands and it’s my job to make that future solid. My Master’s degree, my research into growth mindset… all of this is geared towards making them better students in the future by making me a better teacher today.
In the coming days, you’ll see blog entries about how I’m putting this in action for myself. You are completely welcome to use whatever I post to enhance your life, too. If you have any questions, I’ll answer them the best I know how or find you links to help you if I can’t. If I spend this year talking to myself… that’s ok, too.
Carpe the heck out of this diem, my friends!
Until next time,