I’ve taken a break from writing for the last few days because, honestly, they’ve been horrible. I’ve been so stressed that I just can’t breathe and staying focused long enough to write a blog entry has just not been possible. Now, Optimum Health is the whole package and part of that is learning who you really are, so, let me tell you what I’ve learned about myself these last few days.
I take lots of stuff personally. I mean… LOTS of stuff. Some of it should be personal. My job, my family… these are very personal things for me. When I feel attacked in either of those areas, it messes with my system in ways I am not terribly happy about.
Exhibit A-On Monday, my stress level went through the roof, mostly in the afternoon, when being a Mom was taxing every centimeter of control I had over myself. Five year old had a meltdown in the car because there was a mosquito inside it while we were on our way to the oldest daughter’s art class that doesn’t actually start for a few weeks… in the rain… in five o’clock traffic. It was not a good scenario. I noticed then that I was craving comfort food; MY comfort food, which is mostly chocolate and really, really bad for your health. I resisted and ate my chicken with a side of slaw before going to the grocery store and surrounding myself with all those lovely sugary things that seem to be everywhere! Again, I resisted the urge to throw everything in the cart and stuck with what we needed. When we got home, I started putting things away and noticed the fridge was just out of space. I grabbed a trash bag and started tossing things that fell into one of two categories: “science project” or “shouldn’t eat that.” I filled up two trash bags and had my husband take the rest of my daughter’s birthday cake out to the trash, too. To satisfy my need for chocolate, I popped a brownie bake in the microwave and stayed on my plan.
Exhibit B- Yesterday, I was written up by my boss for something that was completely not my fault. I was livid. There’s already a two page rebuttal, complete with credible resources quoted, referenced, and attached for documentation. I was so worked up when I got home that I couldn’t be still. We ate dinner at home, which made it easier for me to track what was going in my mouth. The urge for something slathered in butter and drizzled in chocolate was really strong, but I resisted, grabbing a chocolate crunch bar from the cabinet, instead.
Now, most anyone would’ve been daunted by the temptation to eat something horrible, but I thought to myself, “this is a test. You touch that cake and you’ve failed!” I have come too far to fail, now, and I’m not letting something like this be the thing that pushes me over the edge. So, today, I started a stress journal. I will be keeping it on me at all times, so when something stresses me out, I add it to the notebook. This will be in addition to the bullet journal I already keep on me at all times.
Anyway, there’s my journal of self-discovery over the last few days. I’ve also earned that I am not a big fan of the Optavia Dark Chocolate cheery shake. I choke it down, and the aftertaste is very “chocolate covered cherry.”
So, there you go! That’s all I’ve got!
Until next time!
~this is me, checking in at 221.6 pounds!